June 5, 1989
Gods, it hurts, having to start a new journal. It would be easy enough if the last one had just gotten full and was still here, that's just a continuation. But my old one was only a few months old. It's back in Unity, or maybe it's gone like everything else.
I need to write down what happened. I don't know why, because I'll never be able to forget, but I think it'll make me feel a bit better. And I think I'll start way back at the first thing I can ever remember understanding about the past. I may be the last one left who remembers it, so at least if I write it down it won't be completely lost when I if something happens to me.
Alessandria, the wolf of Coven Starluck which founded the first mixed village in Canada and called it Haven, had six wolf children and a seventh child who was fathered by a demon. That seventh child was Cassandra, who grew up and fell in love with a Mohawk shaman, and they had five children. From them descend the Cassandra wolves, the demon-wolves, who can fight demons on the mortal plane the way most wolves fight predators.
Haven has always had an absolute categorical antipathy towards all demons, with no acknowledgement of the immense variation among the residents of an entire plane. That prejudice made the early Cassandra wolves and their nearest feel extremely unwelcome, and they had some very unpleasant experiences that finally led to their leaving Haven entirely. The Cassandra wolves disappeared into Haven legend, just a story.
But not just a story to everyone. Some people saw the importance of their existence, and others supported them for more personal reasons. They rallied around them, at first for the sake of the Cassandra wolves, but before long, they discovered that it was beneficial to all involved. Or at least almost all. The numbers of elves and dryads and witches were too low to be sustainable within such a small pool. A few human gifts continued to appear, healing and psychic gifts, but most of the magic of that community centred around, appropriately enough, friendly and mutually beneficial relations with peaceful and well-intentioned demons. That would have been impossible in Haven, with the assumption that all demon interaction can only be based in blood and pain. The presence of the Cassandra wolves ensured safety during the years of experimentation and refinement: an occasional mistake wasn't really such a risk.
As a result of feeling rejected by Haven and thus by the other mixed villages, and not living with those who particularly need the protection of a coven-bond with a wolf, the Cassandra wolves developed their own structures. They lived in small family packs that included non-wolf mates and close friends, but not covens as such. Thus they tended to live more spread out. That made mutual support more difficult in many ways, and the broader community did its best to bridge the gaps. The community maintained a tenuous contact with the mixed villages, keeping track of events there and occasionally recruiting new members, but taking care always to stay invisible. The existence of the Cassandra wolves and the magical system used by the community and the special friends that help us with it, these would, it was firmly believed, be anathema to Haven and the villages, and would trigger at best more stringent ostracism if not an outright crusade.
For a hundred and fifty years, the dream that grew ever stronger within the community was that of a village of their own.
My parents were both born into that network, and I was raised within it. A couple of years ago, the dream came true: by pooling all resources, we'd managed to buy land and have houses built, and could now move in. It wasn't easy, because we had to rely heavily on the nearest town, but that would only be until we could make ourselves more self-sufficient. The village was named Unity.
There are some on the demon plane who have always seen the demon-wolves as a threat and an abomination. And, although only fire and earth are thought to have children, water does as well. Those children of water allied with the demons for some reason—were we seen as trespassers, perhaps? In April this year, on the night of the dark moon, Unity died. I can't remember the details clearly, that damned song made everything all confused and dreamy while we were running. The cats, our special friends, gave their lives in the effort to warn us, instead of escaping as I'm sure they could have. My Uri woke me and then demanded to go out, and he went towards the village. I don't know how many others they managed to reach. United, they might even have tried to stand off the attack. I'm sure I'm As far as I know, I'm the only survivor. If nothing else, I failed in my primary responsibility, I failed my families, both of them. I don't see how a thirteen-year-old, even one as smart as Jess is, could have survived after we were separated in the storm. I don't know what happened to Dena and her other two children. I don't know if my parents even made it out of their house. How could I have lost Jess? I don't think I can forgive myself for that. Ever.
Jesse's name, and those of his family, are hidden in the forest somewhere around Unity, I don't remember exactly where. It doesn't matter. They're safe there. The residue of all that demonic and magical activity will make it impossible for them to be found and misused.
I'm in Haven, now. I was found by a wolf, Bryan, who took me home and put me in his own bed, and waited while I slept off the shock. I woke up with days missing in my head, I don't remember getting here. Bryan got me this book so I could write down the nightmares I've been having, and maybe take some of the venom out of them. I don't know what I'm going to do now. What's the point of
This hurts too much, I'm not writing any more right now.
June 5, 1994
Five years ago, I made my first journal entry after I lost everyone I cared about. I was sure Jess was dead, and that it was my fault because I let him get lost.
At least one Unity demon-wolf survived, though. It's so good to have Jess here and running happily with Bryan and his pack, even if he still doesn't remember anything from before. Nick and Sonja talked Tomas into giving him a trial period at the Brewery waiting tables, and Jess passed with flying colours. It's part-time, true, but he doesn't need to pay rent or anything, so it'll be fine. Besides, I'll keep finding work for him here. Maybe next fall I'll see if he'd be willing to watch the shop for me so I can take a couple of daytime classes at the college without needing to close.
Things are looking brighter than they have in a long time. So bright, in fact, that I have to put this down and go meet Bryan at the library: I'm taking him out for supper at the Brewery to celebrate being friends for five years, just because.